|t h e b i t e|
Q : If a group of
birds is called a flock of bird, and a group of fish is called a school
of fish, and a group of wolves is called a pack of wolves, then what do
you call a group of dogs ?
sa sobrang dami ng text jokes na kumakalat tungkol sa kanya, nagbigay ng
ultimatum si Erap:
Erap : Kapag hindi kayo tumigil sa pagpapakalat ng mga text na yan, I will order the Meralco na putulin na ang line ng Globe
Nung nasa gradeschool pa si Erap:
Teacher : what is 5 plus 4
Erap : eh di 9
Teacher : Very good! how about 4 plus 5 ?
Erap : Lolokohin nyo pa ko eh binaligtad niyo lang, eh di 6
Reporter : Sir, how is your Y2K conversion going on ?
Erap : It's crazy! I can't imagine going to work from MONDAK to FRIDAK and spend SATURDAK and SUNDAK with the kids. Why do they have to convert Y to K anyway ?
Erap's motto in life :
1. Don't judge a book for you are not a judge
2. Birds of the same feathers are the same birds
3. Tell me who your friends are and I tell you mine
4. An apple a day is 7 apples a week
Inofferan ni FPJ si Erap ng Viagra
Erap : Di ko kelangan nyan, merong mas effective dyan
FPJ : ano yun?
Erap : MAALOX, tignan mo sabi sa label - ANTIGAS
Naglilibot si Erap sa isang Elementary School nag may lumapit sa kanya na bata
Bata : Sir, use deduct, defense, detail and defeat in a sentence
Erap : (matagal nag-isip) Eto...Deduct jumped over Defense, Defeat first then Detail
Q : what is a balance sheet ?
Erap : it comes out after a balance diet
Reporter : Sir, bakit poo paik-ika kayong maglakad ?
Erap : Sabi ni Doc mataas ang cholesterol level ko. Kailangan ko daw iwasan yung itlog!