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Q : what is one advantage of being disorderly ?
A : one is constantly making exciting discoveries

Q : why are small worries like goats ?
A : because movement and activity disperse them

Q : when is a pint of milk not a pint
A : when it is condensed

Q : why is travel educational ?
A : because it teaches you how fast you can spend money

Q : a bus started out empty. at the first stop it picked up 10 passengers. stopping again, it let off five passengers and picked up 12. at the next stop, eight passengers got on and two got off. when the bus stopped again, 14 passengers got on and nine got off. one more stop and two got off and nine passengers got on. now without reviewing, how many stops did the bus make ?
A : five stops

Q : what's the difficulty of speeches ?
A : you are perpetually poised between the cliche and the indiscretion

Q : how did an optimist and a pessimist help each other in world travel ?
A : the optimist invented the airplane and the pessimist the parachute

Q : what is the difference between a legal document and a man who has just had a big meal ?
A : one is signed and dated, and the other dined and sated

Q : can you add two figures to 19 and make it less than twenty ?
A : yes, add 1/2 to 19

Q : why is a musician who can't play well like a counterfeiter ?
A : because he is always passing out bad notes

Q : what did Franklin say when he discovered electricity in lightning ?
A : nothing he was too shocked

Q : the word "startling" can be changed into eight other familiar words by successive deletions, from different places, of one letter at a time. remember that you cannot put a letter back once you've taken it out. what are the words ?
A : startling - starting - staring - string - sting - sing - sin - in

Q : how can you tell if the little girl who used to graps a penny so firmly in one hand and press her nose against the glass at a candy counter has already grown up ?
A : she has the same look on her face as she clutches a ten dollar bill at a meat counter

Q : why do overweights run in families ?
A : because kids follow in their parents' foodsteps

Q : what's the most practical thing to do if you saw someone cheating at cards ?
A : bet on him

Q : how will you know if your children are growing up ?
A : if your daughter starts putting lipstick and your son starts wiping it off

Q : what is the difference between a man dodging footwear that is being thrown at him and a man chasing some ducks out his pond ?
A : one ducks the shoes and the other shoos the ducks