Q : what is the difference between a husband and a jilted suitor ?
A : one kisses the misses and the other misses the kisses

Q : what must one do to have soft hands ?
A : nothing

Q : why is a lollipop like a horse ?
A : because the more you lick it, the faster it goes

Q : what is a girl alwys looking for but she doesn't want to find ?
A : a run in her stocking

Q : to what man do men always take their hats off ?
A : the barber

Q : why is a hen sitting on a fence like a cent ?
A : because she has a head on one side and a tail on the other

Q : what makes a pig the most unusual animal in the world ?
A : because you first kill him and then cure him

Q : besdies reading, what makes a well rounded person?
A : watching TV with potato chips and six packs of beer

Q : what is the difference between an old dime and a new penny ?
A : nine cents

Q : what two things which Adam never possessed did he give to his children ?
A : parents

Q : what has three feet but cannot walk ?
A : a yard

Q : where are happiness and contentment always found ?
A : in the dictionary

Q : what is it that dogs have and nothing else has ?
A : puppies

Q : what is the difference between a bad boy and a postage stamp ?
A : one you lick with a stick and the other you stick with a lick

Q : when you lose something, why do you always find it in the last place to look ?
A : because you stop looking when you find it

Q : what kind of cat do you always find in the library ?
A : a catalogue

Q : what is the best thing to put into pies
A : your teeth

Q : what table has no legs at all ?
A : a timetable

Q : what is bought by the yard yet worn by the foot ?
A : carpet