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Q : what is the best proof that drugs have been invented even before the birth of Christ ?
A : Moses had two tablets that could cure the world's ills

Q : what is the difference between suprise and suspense ?
A : if a bomb unexpectedly goes off in a film - that's suprise. But if the audience knows a bomb will go off in five minutes and the hero on screen doesn't know it - that's a suspense

Q : what is the best way of avoiding wrinkles ?
A :don't look for them so hard

Q : what is the best way to avoid being fooled when your son in a far-away college write you because he needs money to buy some books ?
A : send the books he needs, never the money

Q : why is a car like a man with bad habits ?
A : because they both drink, smoke and can't get started in the morning

Q : what is the most unbearable repartee ?
A : silence

Q : what is the easiest way to quit smoking cigarettes ?
A : take it out of your mouth

Q : what is the best way to know if a piece of jewelry is expensive ?
A : it is locked up

Q : what is the best answer if a man you want to put down says, "How do you keep your figure?"
A : say, "To myself"

Q : why is a vacation like love ?
A : because it is anticipated with relish, experienced with inconvenience and remembered with nostalgia

Q : why are promises like snowballs ?
A : because they are easy to make but hard to keep

Q : why is an island like the letter "T" ?
A : because it's in the middle of water

Q : why is an income tax return like a girdle ?
A : because if you put the wrong figure in it, you're apt to get pinched

Q : what's smaller than ant's mouth ?
A : what goes in it

Q : why is repartee like a fly swatter ?
A : because by the time you come up with it, the opportunity has flown

Q : what question is it to which you must positive answer "yes" ?
A : what does y-e-s spell ?

Q : what is the best way to tell a woman's age ?
A : in a whisper

Q : where does thursday come wednesday ?
A : in the dictionary

Q : what good thing did Adam have ?
A : when he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before

Q : what's so peculiar about the way a horse eats ?
A : he eats best without a bit in his mouth