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Q : what word of five letters has six left after you take two away ?
A : six-ty

Q : why is it that an average girl would rather have beauty than brains ?
A : because the average man can see better than he can think

Q : why is the bookkeeper's account book like the sculptor's studio ?
A : because it is full of figures

Q : who dares to sit before the Queen with his cap on ?
A : her chauffeur

Q : what is the first thing many men dig up when asked to start a garden ?
A : excuse

Q : though i danced at a ball, yet i am nothing at all. What am i?
A : a shadow

Q : why is a musician like a locksmith ?
A : because he knows his keys

Q : why is a clock like a river ?
A : because it won't run long without winding

Q : what did the psychiatrist say when he discovered that his patient is an automobile mechanic ?
A : the psychiatrist said, "get under the couch"

Q : what should be looked into ?
A : a mirror

Q : what increases its value one-half when turned upside down ?
A : figure 6

Q : what is the difference between an individualist and an oddball ?
A : an individualist is a person who dares to be different; an oddball is a person who's different from us

Q : where did the president go on his nineteenth birthday ?
A : into his twentieth year

Q : what is the best answer when a writer tells you, "You can't really criticize this book since you've never written anything yourself" ?
A : say, "so what, i've never laid an egg either, but i can criticize an omelette better than a hen can"

Q : why did twenty-four people get up and leave the table at Hilton's famous 
restaurant ?

A : they were through eating

Q : what is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat ?
A : a centipede with sore feet

Q : what's the big trouble with communication today ?
A : there is the short supply of those willing to be communicated with

Q : how old would you be if you were very, very fat ?
A : the same age you are now

Q : what's so frustating about the key to success ?
A : it doesn't always fit your ignition

Q : how many times can 9 be subtracted from 90 ?
A : only once, because any later subtraction would not be from 90 but from a smaller number