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Q : why is a crossword puzzle like a quarrel ?
A : because one word leads to another

Q : what's the similarity between success and failure ?
A : both of them are not permanent

Q : why is a speech like a love affair ?
A : because any fool can start it; but to end it requires considerable skill

Q : is watching what you eat the toughest part of dieting ?
A : no, it's watching what your friends eat

Q : why are clocks so shy ?
A : because they always hold their hands before their faces

Q : what headlines do women notice ?
A : wrinkles

Q : what is the difference between a comedian outside of a theatre and one inside ?
A : the price of a ticket

Q : why is a husband's payday like the Academy Awards ?
A : a yardbecause his wife says, "may i have the envelope please?"

Q : when is longhand quicker and more accurate than shorthand ?
A : when it is on a clock

Q : you can hung me up on the wall, but if you take me down, you cannot hang me up again. what am i ?
A : wallpaper

Q : why is letter "r" like a danger ?
A : it makes a nun run

Q : where is the only place where ends meet ?
A : on a football field

Q : what kind of clothing lasts the longest ?
A : underwear, because it is never worn out

Q : who's the hardest to beat in an argument ?
A : the man with the longest temperature

Q : what is the longest distance between two points of view ?
A : argument

Q : what's the difference between a man and a woman ?
A : a man likes you for what he thinks you are, a woman, for what you think she is

Q : what are the two things that indicate weakness ?
A : to be silent when it is proper to speak, and to speak when it is proper to be silent

Q : what musical instrument invites you to fish ?
A : cast-a net

Q : what is the difference between a mirror and a boy who chatters nonsense ?
A : a mirror reflects without talking, and the boy talks without reflecting