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Q : what's the difference between a ghost and a lame sailor walking ?
A : one is a hobgoblin and the other is a gob hoblin

Q : what is that which, although only six inches long and three inches wide, contains only a solid foot ?
A : a shoe

Q : if you were locked up in a room with nothing but a baseball bat, how would you get out ?
A : strike one, strike two, strike three, you're out

Q : what's the similarity between an artist and a housewife ?
A : both of them can arbitrarily quit their work when they want to and neither can ever with certainty say : there is nothing more to be done

Q : why are modern paintings like women ?
A : because you'll never enjoy them if you try to understand them

Q : which man always finds things dull ?
A : the scissors grinders

Q : what is found in the middle of both america and Australia ?
A : the letter "R"

Q : why is an advice like snow ?
A : because the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind

Q : what resembles one-half of a cheese ?
A : the other half

Q : why is riding on the freeway like the Russian roulette ?
A : because you never know which driver is loaded

Q : where does excellence of a circle lie ?
A : in its roundness

Q : how did the boy feel when he was kept after school for bad spelling ?
A : spellbound

Q : how many bookkeeping be taught in a lesson of four words ?
A : never lend your books

Q : do big ships like the Titanic sink very often ?
A : no, only once

Q : what's the easiest way to convince a kid that he doesn't really need something ?
A : get it for him

Q : why is it best to tell a story with a hammer ?
A : to make it more striking

Q : when is a person considered overweight?
A : when he's living beyond his seams

Q : why is it that a hen always crosses over the wagon marks in the road ?
A : because it's too long to go around them

Q : what's the trouble with telling a good story ?
A : it reminds the other fellow of a dull one