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Q : what do cats have that nothing else has ?
A : kittens

Q : how long will an eight-day clock run without winding ?
A : it won't run at all without winding

Q : why is criticism like rain ?
A : because it should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots

Q : use me well, and I am everybody; scratch my back and I am nobody. What am I ?
A : a mirror

Q : why are words like sunbeams ?
A : because the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn

Q : why is a fisherman always wealthy ?
A : because all his business is net profit

Q : what is the surest way to keep fish from smelling ?
A : cut off their noses

Q : why is it that being a good listener is not as easy as it may sound ?
A : because looking interested for a long time is very tiring on the eyebrows

Q : what's the best repartee when you hear somebody sigh, "life is hard" ?
A : you ask, "compared to what ?"

Q : what is the difference between truth and eggs ?
A : truth crushed to earth will rise again, but eggs won't

Q : what is too much for one, enough for two, but nothing at all for three ?
A : a secret

Q : how can one tell the naked truth ?
A : just by telling the bare facts

Q : what is the difference between love, hate and anxiety
A : love looks forward, hate looks back while anxiety has eyes all over its head

Q : why is a good woman like a good book ?
A : because she is entertaining, inspiring and instructive; sometimes a bit too wordy, but when properly bound and decorated, irresistible. And everybody wishes he could afford a library

Q : why is a gardener like a story writer ?
A : when he works up his plot

Q : what is the difference between a hungry man and a greedy man ?
A : one longs to eat and the other eats too long

Q : there are only two possible barbers in town. One is shabby-looking and his hair badly cut. The other one is better-dressed and his hair is smartly cut. If you want to have your hair cut, which of the two barbers do you prefer if you want good results
A : the barber whose hair is badly cut, for he is the better barber as shown by the other barber's haircut

Q : when does a boy sneeze three times ?
A : when he cannot help it

Q : when is a cigar like a dried beef ?
A : when it is smoked